Pain, Pregnancy and Pottery

When I was pregnant with Annabelle, in the second semester I started experiencing severe upper inner thigh and groin pain. I didn't know what it was, there seemed to be nothing that specifically happened to trigger it, no fall or accident. Side to side movement was painful- the action of lifting a leg any direction other than forwards or backwards was usually painful- especially after periods without movement, or at the end of the day. This includes getting out of the car (lifting a leg out and then standing), rolling over in bed, pushing anything sideways, moving sideways while carrying something, or exercise that is side to side. Carrying things also exacerbates the problem. It would come and go, flare up and flare down. But mostly, my legs stayed in some form of pain.

I mentioned this multiple times at doctors visits and was told the first time, that various pains come with pregnancy and I could look forward to feeling better after the baby. I mentioned it again to another physician and he diagnosed it as round ligament syndrome (after 30 seconds or less of thinking it over), and again assured me it would go away after the baby came. A couple other moms mentioned they had leg pain and it quickly subsided after pregnancy. So I whole heartedly believed them.

But this did not happen for me.

I should have thought to seek care when the pain did not go away post pregnancy. I should have mentioned it at my 4 week postpartum appointment, but after being in the waiting room over 3 hours with my very tiny angry baby, all I could think of was vacating the premises as quickly as possible. There was no mindfulness left in me to remember I needed care too. And I was still believing it would be going away very soon.

It took 14 months postpartum for the pain to be mostly gone. It did lessen after delivery but I had to be extremely careful with what I did to avoid aggravating my legs. Eventually, rolling over in bed became a normal event again, getting out of the car was ok, getting up and down was normal. Yet, in everything I read, and from what my caregivers did tell me, was that if I experienced this pain in my first pregnancy, it would probably reoccur in my subsequent ones.

This has been a major weight upon me. No one wants to be injured. This pain made caring for my child so difficult, as the weight of carrying things around (the baby, the pack n play, the swing, the car seat, loading the stroller, groceries, etc. in the car) was a severe aggravator of my pain. Let's not forget loading the kiln with heavy kiln shelves or moving around 50 lbs boxes of clay. After living with the pain for about 18 months, another child was on our minds, yet diving into another bout of injury was so discouraging.

Raising only one child was not what Jon and I had in mind for our lives, so pain aside here we are with another precious daughter on the way. This is a funny way of announcing it on this blog, but I fear that if I wait to post this to put together a sweet baby announcement post, this will never be said, and I want to share this experience with other women, and possibly potters that can benefit from this.

Aiming to avoid injuring/aggravating my body during this pregnancy I changed clinics to hopefully have a more helpful bunch of medical professionals to help me feel my best during this pregnancy. No one ever asked my about my life, or my job in my prenatal care last time and I didn't mention what I did with my days, so risks in my daily life never came up. At my first appointment for prenatal care, I decided to change this. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that I knew what was making this such an issue for me. Even at just a couple of months into this pregnancy I would feel the oh so familiar pain in my right leg after throwing in my studio or in class. I noticed how much strength and weight was being put on this leg as I centered clay, leaned on it and created my pieces. I told my story to the nurse practitioner I saw at that first appointment and explained that this was my job. This was my life, my paycheck. She agreed this was probably the source of my pain. Her recommendation, which I have found to be sound, was to do as little as possible with my legs apart (like throwing), to exercise and eat healthy. I mentioned raising my wheel so I could stand and throw and she agreed that would be a fabulous interim or permanent change for me.

I've greatly reduced how much I'm making, and what I'm making over the past few months. I finished my classes at Berry and the demonstration throwing I did there was not too taxing for me, especially since I know now not to overdo it or to throw with too much weight while pregnant. At home, I've done a couple of standing to throw sessions and they were great- way better than I anticipated. As my stomach grows, I think this will be challenging, and therefore I'm not planning to throw daily like I did in my first pregnancy. In fact, I've been doing a great deal more hand built work. Teaching hand building at Berry last fall really sparked my interest in creating things off the wheel, and taking them new directions than my wheel throwing work. This has lead me to create angels all built by hand and then raku fired, so different than my typical, strictly functional, dinnerware creations, but so fulfilling and exciting for me.

It is such a blow when you have to give up or change something you see as your identity to gain something else you love and adore.  But, I'm slowly learning to adjust, even though it may be painful (literally somethimes), I see this as temporary. My hope is that I will be able to better care for myself this time, and recover more quickly and find my health much sooner than a year after giving birth.

20 Weeks pregnant, I am due September 24, 2015

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a potter, not a doctor. However, in my research, the condition that most closely describes what I have been experiencing is Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. Hopefully what I've learned from dealing with this in the past couple years will help keep others safe and sane throughout their journeys, whatever they may be.