On Being a Crazy, Hungry Pregnant Woman

She looked in the mirror and realized she didn't recognize herself. Then she realized she was being reinvented.

I don't really like this pregnancy thing.

7 Months ago I knew her not. Now she is me.

I don't have much legitimate material to complain about since the whole thing has been relatively smooth and healthy despite the fact that the first appointment I had to confirm the pregnancy the non-listening, non-thinking, non-feeling, non-educated doctor told me I was either on my period or having a miscarriage. So, in light of that visit, I should be super excited that he was very very wrong and I'm growing like crazy every week.

Today is the first day of my third trimester- whoo hoo! 28 weeks complete and roughly 12 to go. And please please sweet Lord, let is pass quickly.

There are some day to day things that I'm just fed up with. And let me just say, the kicks are sweet, the end result will be precious and wild and insanely wonderful. But I'm just tired of the journey.

I can't get over not knowing my body. I have all these new needs. Like they are needs of another beings or something...

It started with the first trimester- I get extreme, painful, fatiguing hunger with little warning or pattern. And unless I eat the right thing, it won't go away. So, if I lay down at 10:30 to go to sleep, at 10:35 my stomach could be screaming at me to get up and fix fish tacos with avacado, sliced tomato, cheese and salsa and no matter now much I don't have an appetite and would rather sleep, I have to get up. And cook. Uhg. This also happens at 5 am or 1 am or 30 minutes after lunch. Usually the 5 am ones can be appeased with microwave oatmeal though.

And in addition to this increased, urgent need for food, I have all of these eating stipulations. First of all, I was pescatarian before all this started (not vegan- I eat animal byproducts, but not vegetarian since I would eat seafood. But no chicken beef or pork, etc.). I'm also lactose intolerant which cuts out the majority of regular dairy milk, ice cream, real butter, and cheese. I pretend I have a small tolerance for it and eat these in small portions but I'm basically sick from it everyday. Sigh.

So, in addition to not eating meat and trying half heartedly to avoid dairy foods, when pregnant you have avoid all of the following:

• Caffeine- I did but was plagued with headaches that lasted for weeks (truly) at a time and a smart, kind loving doctor told me to get back on coffee and just limit it. It has worked ever since.
• Seafood more than 2x per week- I was eating seafood much more often than this- maybe 4-5 times per week. This one is killer to me since I love fish, it is one of my go-to filling foods and it is healthy. of the 30+ meals I consume in a week, the two seafood ones seem very few and far between
• Soft Cheese- Sure, I shouldn't eat this anyway being that I can't digest it, but it sure does but a damper on a mexican dining experience. Especially when you can't have a margarita or a negro modelo. No shrimp chimichangas covered in queso?  Sniff, sniff, boo hoo.
• Frozen Yogurt from Restaurants- This is a lactose intolerance loop hole! Yogurts often have good bacteria in them that will digest the lactose for you and not bother your digestion. And then pregnancy comes along and says the yogurts could have listeria and you and your baby will die from it. So that is out.
• Leftovers (because of bacterial growth)- This also sucks because despite the numerous times I need to eat, I usually don't eat a whole meal so leftovers are par for the course. But, those darn articles about bacterial growth and such freak me out and so then there is another plate of food off limits to me. 
• And eat lots of calcium- Otherwise the baby will absorb their calcium from guess where.... your BONES and then you will get osteoporosis later in life. CRAP. Lactose intolerance makes it TERRIBLY HARD to take in calcium. Aside from dairy, the recommended source is green leafy vegetables, with one of the leading ones being spinach. So, 2 cups of spinach have 8% calcium in it. So if I eat 2 cups of spinach 3x per day, I'm at 24%, plus the 15% in my prenatal vitamin. Not even close. And who eats that much spinach? (And therefore I have soy lattes daily- regular in the morning and decaf in the afternoon, which gives me another 20% or so...)

And I'm sure I'm forgetting something. If I had failed the gestational diabetes test I would have just died because I just can't handle anything more complicated in my diet- and not being able to eat chocolate.

I gave up on my animal saving, earth friendly, heart healthy, stroke preventing pescatarian diet because I simply couldn't find enough "real" food to eat and fill me up. That first trimester hunger was killing me and made me realize how much I just didn't eat before pregnancy. Meals were optional before- now they are completely essential and will send me into panics and confusion and faintness if I don't have them 5-6 times per day. This is basically me everyday except for the f bombs.

And then there is the exhaustion. Which I would discuss here but I'm frankly too exhausted from complaining and typing and need to do something more positive like go glaze 100 pots downstairs for a bit before I go teach my class- which is my favorite part of my week.

So, perhaps later. But for now, I'm just happy to have off-loaded the food complexity conundrum I face every day. Thanks for listening. 

For the record, I love the baby, just not the pregnancy.

Love,

Lisa

27 Weeks, Blue Ridge Mountains, Copperhill, TN