And so it begins...

I'm laying in bed next to my sleeping husband and pup while the most fear filled thoughts run through my mind. Our unborn baby became more real than ever today with the exciting gender reveal ultrasound and 17 week doctors appointment.

And here I am with a fever, chills, headache and painfully sore throat.

I'm never sick. Headaches are common and colds too but I cannot recall the last time I had a fever. Yet, with pregnancy comes a slew of complications like a compromised immune system, loose ligaments, and difficulty balancing.

Sicknesses such as the flu, kidney infections, and gestational diabetes loom over your head as you carefully avoid second hand smoke, too much seafood, frozen yogurt, caffeine, medications, pot lucks, leftovers, and sushi.

So illness is the last thing you want to strike as a first time extra careful mom to be. Anger rises at the doctor's office as to why they didn't take my temperature today. Why did the doctor answer his cell phone in the middle of my appointment that I waited an hour for cutting our time short before I could mention my sore throat.

Fear swells up that my temp will rise above the definitive 103 mark that will certainly harm my sweet daughter if I don't check my temperature ever 30 minutes.

And all this prevents me from getting much needed rest as I embark upon my third hour of laying away and hoping my child is safe and that the Tylenol, cold wash cloth, and light blankets will do their job and keep my fever low enough to protect my baby from harm.

And so there goes my aspirations to be a cool, collected calm mama that knows no panic and only the sound, calm responses I've read about in all the books. I'm just a girl that knows not what is happening to her body and is just hanging on for two dear lives.

Pray for my sleep, for my ability to be calm and my beautiful child to blissfully kick the night away as she sleeps softly and soundly.

Love, Lisa

*** Update ***

I'm much better now. My fever went away with my sleep that was granted after spilling all of this out on here to you. I've been battling some lingering head cold type symptoms and now am ready to invest in one of those Monday- Sunday pill organizers but today, I feel so much more myself.

I think she looks like me.

She is definitely worth it.